I hope it wasn't because of #metoo

I was recently talking to my best friend about the outbreak of sexual harassment/abuse claims that have been recently lobbed against some of the biggest names in the world of entertainment and politics.

This issue became even more personal to most of us as women from all walks of life took to social media using the #metoo tag. These are my friends, relatives, former co-workers, colleagues, and former classmates. None of them have ever encountered members of the Washington or Hollywood elite. They have been victimized by just regular guys.

So it made me look at myself and wonder, have I caused someone to type the words #metoo ? I can say definitively that I have never done any of the egregious things that some of these people have been accused of and many have admitted to. But through words or actions have I made any woman feel uncomfortable in my presence. Have I said things that can be construed the wrong way? And even if I didn’t mean it, if someone took it that was it's still wrong.

I am pretty sure that physically I have always treated women respectfully. And I am not the kind of guy to do catcalls or what not, but am I the kind of guy, who might take a second look at a lady in tight-fitting yoga pants? Might I say or laugh at an off-colored joke in what I believe to be in non-mixed company? Those are both probably yes. Have any of those things made someone uncomfortable? I don’t know. But they might have and that’s not cool. Those are things I now go around trying to avoid doing.

Often times we hear why aren’t the good Muslims speaking out against radical Islam. Why aren’t the good cops speaking out against police brutality? Why aren’t more men standing up against these so-called men who have been systematically victimizing women for generations? Those women are our daughters, wives, sisters, mothers, and friends. Why does it have to take an over-publicized controversy to bring harassment for us to do something about it?

What can we do about it?
Don’t be afraid to call out someone else who you see is harassing a woman or girl. I’m not saying start a fight, but don’t just walk away and say that’s not my problem. Make your presence known, make it clear that this is not acceptable behavior.

Believe the accusers. Don’t dismiss someone for any reason. This has gotten to a tipping point where the accused have to prove them innocent. There are a lot of reasons that people don’t speak up immediately. You have heard the phrase “There is Safety in Numbers”, that is why so many people are speaking out now. Do you think a 14-year old girl in the 1970s living in a small town in Alabama would be very comfortable publicly talking about being abused by a well known and influential 30-year old lawyer? What do you think the people in her town would say?

Speak out with your dollars. I love the show House of Cards. But can I really support a show that stars someone who victimizes other people? Perhaps if they kill off or recast Kevin Spacey’s character I can come back. But on the local level, if you see that the pizza guy is constantly making the work environment uncomfortable for his employees, go to the other pizza place.

Be a good role model. It is time for all of us men to make a change in the way we talk and act in front of women and girls. And more importantly how we speak in front of our sons and other young men that we influence. That is the only way that this wheel is broken.


I know this is a hollow apology, but we (Men) have been jerks. We have either said or done horrible things. Or just as bad we have sat on the sideline and done nothing about. We fall back on recycled mantras of “Boys will be Boys” or “Locker-room Talk”. But that is unacceptable. We need to be better. And we need to be better right now.

I let my kid quit Little League

I called my son into the living room and confirmed with him that it was what he really wanted. He said it was. So I hit send on a note to his baseball coach letting him know that the season was over for him. The team still has two games and the playoffs to go. But #42 would not be joining them anymore.

A few weeks back on a surprisingly chilly May evening the Plumbers were in a tight game. The boys 7 and 8 year olds (and some 6s who are technically 7) are one of the smaller teams. No behemoth 2nd graders, just a group of scrappy little guys. My son stood at the plate. Elbow up. Knees slightly bent. The other team's pitchers were wild already five of our guys had been hit. The bases were loaded. And the pitch came in. It was way inside, and smashed into my sons hand.

Like his teammates before him he collapsed down into a crying mess. His coach came running over from third base and tried to encourage him as he walked over to first base. He couldn't stay out there, they brought in a pinch runner and I came over to the dug out. He was inconsolable.

I was sure he'd be good to go by the next game. I got him some extra pads for his hands. A security blanket. We went to the batting cage and all seemed great. He was driving the ball with authority. At practice he was great. And then it was game day. He walked into the dugout and was in tears. He refused to play. Eventually he played half an inning of left field.

That would be the last time he saw the field. The next game he couldn't even make it into the dugout. And spent the entire game off the field playing with the little sister of one of his teammates.

I reached out to everyone I knew who might give me some advice. Dads with kids as young as 6 and some with kids almost out of high school. They all said, he'll be ready when he is ready. I didn't push it.

So after a rain-out and a few scheduling conflicts. We were going to get ready to play again. When I told him we were going to start to get ready. His face sunk.

I knew he was scared. I asked him if playing was making him unhappy. He said it was. Forcing him would just make him sad. He is six (and 3/4) he deserves to be happy. And me forcing him to play isn't doing that. I love watching him play. He has a wonderful and powerful swing the kind that is usually reserved for lefties. He is so willing to throw himself around to get a ball. We even got him catchers gear so he could try to be a catcher. And through coaching and practice. He can actually catch the ball well.

I never got a chance to play little league, so it was important to me to see him play. That's why I never missed a game of corporate softball. It just became not right for him.

When I sent that email he was so relieved. We are still going to have catches in the back yard and the park. I'll still throw him batting practice. But he won't be on the team, at least not this year. And if that makes him happy. In happy with it too.

Dear administrators of my kids school ...

Today was the hottest day of the year so far. But for some reason my 8-year-old daughter had to wear her jacket all day long. Why? Because on this dress down day she wore a dress whose straps were too thin. Actually she was also wearing a tank top under that dress for "modesty", she was also wearing bike shorts underneath. Spaghetti straps are out of dress code. Really we are talking about an 8-year-old.

Are the spaghetti straps so distracting to a room full of 3rd graders? No. If she was dressed like a fidget spinner, the boys wouldn't be able to take their eyes off her, but rest assured she is not causing a distraction. It is utter nonsense. Guess what if what a little child is wearing is so distracting to the boys in her class well that is a problem with the way they were raised. And it's a problem that school's feel the need to legislate what kids can wear, well mostly legislate what girls are allowed to wear, there are pretty much no regulations for what a boy is not allowed to wear to school that doesn't apply to girls.

You have never met as nice and sweet little girl as my daughter. She  shares her snacks at lunch time to a fault. But she gets singled out because a puritanical rule that was written to prevent 13-year-old 8th graders from "distracting" their male classmates.

It's funny when people complain about the bullying problem at the school, it takes weeks and weeks for it to be addressed. When an entire class of kindergartens are not allowed to run around at recess it takes dozens of letters to the principal and teacher, and a near civil war amongst the parents in the class for anything to be done about it. But the seductiveness of a child must be stopped immediately.

The school is a Catholic school, so there are rules I get that. But this rule is terrible and the enforcement is terrible. It would have been cruel to make a child walk around in his socks because he was wearing purple sneakers instead of white or black ones. It was cruel to subject my daughter to this enforcement, a note home from the teacher would have sufficed.

My daughter is prone to overheating and had she passed out because she was forced to wear a jacket in school all day. My guess would be an attorney would be writing something about this incident not me.

A scout is kind

In September when we started a tiger den for my son and some of his classmates. It was going to be fun and scary. But never once did I wonder if any of these newly minted Tigers were not biologically a boy. And honestly, why would I. They looked and dress like boys, yes their voices are high pitched and you could mistake them for girls, but they are six. So I took it at face value that they are all boys.
In December I read about a boy named Joe, a cub scout from New Jersey who was removed from his pack because it was revealed to a District Executive that Joe was biologically not a boy. Joe and his family made no secret that he was biologically a girl, but he lives his life as a little boy. One of the other parents let the cat out of the bag. And since at the time the BSA had no formal protocol dealing with transgendered youth, he was removed. This is a little 8-year-old boy who loves Star Wars and hanging out with his friends in his Cub Scout Den. If I were the den leader or Cubmaster I would have fought the removal. It just wasn't right.

The debate over Joe's removal got all convoluted about transgendered people being sexual predators. Or on the other hand, how can the other boys expect not to do anything to a child who is biologically a girl. Here it is a child who may not be biologically male, but identifies and lives full time as a boy wants to join the scouts because he wants to do all the awesome things Cub Scouts/Boy Scouts do. He isn't some sleeper cell for a sinister LGBTQ agenda. If anything he will try to fit in as much as he can and not call any attention to himself.  As far as the other boys, guess what the BSA has rules to protect children (regardless of gender) they are called the Guide to Safe Scouting and Youth Protection. If a scout unit can't keep a child safe, that is not the problem of the child, it a lack of leadership and some badly parented children. And what right does any child have abusing or bullying any other child regardless of gender or gender identity. That has no place in Scouting.

People say why can't that kid just join the Girl Scouts. Well, HE wanted to be with boys his own age and do things boys like him do. I don't know exactly what the Girl Scouts program entails, but they don't have the emphasis on the outdoors that the Boy Scouts do. But they have been super inclusive of LGBTQ children and leaders for a few decades.  But I digress, this is not about the Girl Scouts.

Out of the blue, the BSA announced yesterday that they would accept transgender boys into the Scouts. There were not years-long debate. There were not dozens of questionnaires. It just happened. And it was the right thing. A scout is KIND. A scout is FRIENDLY. A Scout is CHEERFUL. A Scout is LOYAL (which the NJ council was not being to Joe). I have been reading a lot on scouting message boards about people saying they are leaving the BSA once and for all. Good leave, we don't need people who don't live up to the scout law in our group. Feel free to join one of the ALT-Right's youth groups, you will find that their program is not as full and developed as the BSAs, and while they may have some of the same ideologies as you, but you better hate all the right things.

I am going to let you in on a secret. There have been transgendered boys in scouting for years. They just happened to not piss off Mrs. Jenkins at the pinewood derby, having her blab a secret that wasn't hers to tell. They have earned badges and nothing bad has happened to them or by them. They were in the good sense of the phrase BOYS being BOYS. And there have been gay youth and adults in scouting long before the membership policy change a few years ago. So anyone who is looking to go back to the good old days, guess who was there in the good old days.

Going back to my den. None of the parents have mentioned to me that their son was once a daughter. And if that were the case even before this I really wouldn't have cared. So today is a good day to be a scout, and I hope that Joe rejoins his den (or another den with fewer asshole grownups) really soon.

FYI - The photo of the scouts above is a stock photo. 

THANKS OBAMA

The kids and I were driving after school, they were playing games on their tablets and I was listening to President Obama's farewell news conference. As always he was gracious and classy.

The NPR announcer mentioned the Obama family would be moving out of the White House and into another home in DC. Nugget jumped in and said that she hoped that they would move into our town. And that he would be a great neighbor. I agreed. I asked if he would come over for barbecues. Both kids said that he would. Nugget said he would bring ribs (her favorite) and the little guy said that he would bring beef. Personally I think that he would bring a fancy (though homemade) potato salad.

Then we started using Siri to find out presidential facts. And used some math to figure out how much older Sasha and Malia are than them. For about thirty minutes of they drive, there was conversation, joking and no looking at screens. I guess I would glance over to read a response from Siri before she said it.

As they say THANKS OBAMA!

With soon to Citizen Obama's presidency now down to the hours. I want to look back at some of the things that made many of us love the 44th President of these United States.


Family First - Every night when the President was at the White House he and his family would have dinner together. No advisors, no visiting heads of state. Just a man, his wife and their daughters. Being president was an important part of his life, but not the most important part. Likewise his Vice President Joe Biden put family first. His first wife died in a tragic accident early in his career as Senator from Delaware. Every night he would leave D.C. And head home on the Amtrak to spend time with his sons, who were still recovering from their injuries.

He is an ally - During his time in office President Obama fought for equality for all Americans. Nationwide marriage equality was passed. Don't Ask Don't tell was tossed and even though he is just the Honorary President of the Boy Scouts of America, during these last years the "membership" issue regarding openly gay scouts and leaders had been resolved. And guess what no mass departures from the BSA. And guess what LGBTQ rights don't directly effect him, but it's the right thing to do. History will look at those events and compare them favorably to Lincoln freeing the slaves.

He stuck to his guns - During his last visit with a championship team, the Chicago Cubs, he didn't pander against his own fandom and put on Cubs gear. He loves their cross town rival the White Sox and couldn't be caught dead in the cubs stuff. 

He didn't want to take away your guns, he just wanted people to stop shooting at each other - No other President ever had to deal with so many innocent lives lost to gun violence. From the 26 who were murdered in Sandy Hook to the 9 gunned down while they prayed in Charlestown, and countless others, President Obama addressed the nation pleading for stricter gun control. But pro-death lobbyists bought so many pro-life politicians it never was able to get through the Congress. FYI you can bring all the guns you want into any elementary school but not anywhere near the halls of congress. But I digress. 

The high road - As the first African American President, Barack Obama could have accused his detractors and opponents as racists. But no. He stood with class and respectfully disagreed with them and gave them the benefit of the doubt that they are opposing him because of his policy positions not the color of his skin of the origin of his name.

We will miss President Obama. But no doubt we will hear from him in the future, working hard for all of the American people. Or perhaps discussing his award winning potato salad.


So one more time. Thanks Obama!

I underestimated my daughter ... never again

I underestimated my daughter. I think many of us did during the week of the presidential election.

I was at work when the news came out that Donald Trump is the President of the United States of America come mid January. That was hard to write. I was still at work when the kids woke up and my wife told them the results. My daughter cried. Her brother cursed God, but he is six and hilarious. I had assumed that she was sad that there was not going to be a female president.

That was understandable, third graders don't know the intricacies of presidential politics. She knew there was a woman, who is a mom and grandmother, was running for president. And from what she heard it was looking good, I guess we all heard that. I didn't help, when I went to vote I had my daughter fill out the part of my ballot next to Hillary Clinton's name. It was a proud moment for me, watching her little hand fill in that circle. Earlier in the day her class voted, she cast her vote for Secretary Clinton. She lost the third grade and Kindergarten, but handily carried the 1st grade.

So it was understandable that she was sad. Later that day she asks me where I was born. I know she knows I was born in Puerto Rico. Then she got a little silent. "So, is that where they are going to send you?"

"What?"

"Is that where they are going to send you?" She asked again. I told her no, that no matter who was president I couldn't be deported. I explained to her that Puerto Rico is its own country but is also a commonwealth of the United States. And that people born there have been U. S. citizens by birth since 1917.

Earlier in the day, she had asked my wife who would take care of her and her brother if they sent her away. My wife was born in Armenia, her family legally immigrated to the US in the early 1980s, did everything the right way and eventually all became citizens. Like all Americans they pay taxes, vote and serve on jury duty when called upon. My daughter figured it would have to be my brother's wife, since both of her parents, her grandmothers and her uncles would be on airplanes. Or   some sort of boat to Armenia or Puerto Rico.

It is sad that things kids hear in the playground that has to do with deporting people as opposed to hearing a taboo curse word.

But for many children this is a legitimate fear, its not just uninformed school yard talk or overheard conversations on NPR. And if deportations do happen, it will be a scary time for children whose parents were not born here. Even if they are citizens. I don't know how to explain to her that for many people this will be a reality. But how does one explain to a child without terrifying them what is happening?

I apologized to her. And never underestimated her again.

Sorry Guys I will not be seeing you in Raleigh

Last year around this time I went to Raleigh, North Carolina to attend the National At Home Dad Network's 20th annual convention. It was an amazing time. Met fathers from across the nation, many of whom I had only interacted with on Facebook groups. Of course, there was a big contingent from the NYC Dads Group there.

It was the best. I shared a room with two perfect strangers Joël from California and John from Pennsylvania. All three of us were scholarship recipients and first timers at the convention. As a natural introvert it was nice having a few friends to cling to when I didn't have it in me to meet new people.

After the convention ended I was excited about returning next year. I wanted to be more involved. I joined the social media committee and helped out when I could. I was asked to think about running for the executive board at the convention. But then North Carolina did something that is inexcusable.

On March 23rd, North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory signed HB2 into law. The law which gained national attention as the "Bath Room Bill" does more than tell transgendered people where they can or can't use the bathroom, it all but eliminates any protection against LGBTQ people have in the state. Basically making it legal to discriminate against LGBTQ people.

The first thing I thought of was, how can we still have our convention there? I thought about it a lot. We were going to eat, drink and pay state taxes somewhere that openly discriminates against people. Who openly discriminates against people who are members of our organization.

I brought this up to members of the board who all sympathized with my position. But the company line was they were too far into the planning to move it. And the organizing committee had already done so much hard work. Which I don't doubt. But it was an answer I didn't accept. Would we still be going there if the law made it legal to discriminate against African Americans?

There was six months between the day that law was passed and the beginning of the convention. At that point, vendors, sponsors, locations for offsites, and speakers had not been finalized. Basically the only thing set was the convention site and the hotel. But I'm sure many other cities have a Marriott and a convention space to accommodate around 300 people.

I think that it was too set in stone that the convention was happening in Raleigh. And there were certain people who were set on hosting the convention. There was talk about tax offsets. But were all the dads going to double the taxes we spend in North Carolina to give to a charity? Even one as worthy as Equality NC. I don't have that kind of extra money. Sure its feasible for a national organization, but for the little guy who will hit the bar a few times, or the Starbucks in the lobby a few too many times, plus pay for a room at the hotel and perhaps lunch at the airport. I don't think so.

Although you may say the HB2 law may not affect the majority of the NAHDN members. As the vast majority of us are cisgender heterosexual males. But not all of us. At last years convention there were less than a handful of gay days in attendance, and I know that at least one of them faced open discrimination and attempts at intimidation while in Raleigh. But that is not my story to tell. We talk a lot about the brotherhood of fatherhood. So if this effects one of us it effects all of us. I know there will be a session on the subject as part of the programming of the convention which is great, but words are not enough.

I spoke with dads who live in North Carolina, who insisted that its not so backwards in the so called triangle. But these enlightened people did nothing to stop bigots from filling the House and Governors office. They do nothing to stop their neighbors from raising confederate flags. Its easy to just bury your face into your phone and ignore these things that don't effect you directly.

If I were attending and running for a position on the board, I would be talking about how as fathers it is our responsibility to make the world a better place, not only for our own kids but for everyone. And by not standing up for what is right and against what us wrong, we fail. Fail for our children. We can't only have outrage when something effects us directly. We need to act.

But please don't get me wrong. The convention will be great. All the dads are awesome, and you will meet people who will become instant friends. Like me you will be forced to join at least a dozen Stay-at-home-Dad facebook groups, but that is cool. This is in all sincerity, enjoy your time there. It will be nice to get away from being a stay at home parent for a couple of days. If the circumstances were different I would be right there with you. You'll get to breathe. May I recommend Big Ed's for breakfast and if the bar next door to the hotel has Cherry Bounce, by all means try it. I just can't be there. I'm not judging anyone who is there or who organized it, but to me it feels like a slap in the face to some of our fellow dads.

The NBA, NCAA and ACC have taken their All Star game and championship tournaments away from North Carolina. PayPal has stopped a planned expansion in the state. There is no legitimate reason why we didn't move our small convention also.

The curious case of Jose Reyes

My favorite team in the world is the New York Mets, before any of the other teams I root for its the Mets. A full 1/4 of my t-shirt collection are Mets shirts. 

Now, I am at a crossroads as the team prepares to bring back Jose Reyes. On the surface, even if his skills are some what diminished, he is still such a spark  offensively and such a natural player that he will thrive defensively at any position you put him at. That stadium was built for his combination of line drive power and blazing speed. And truth be told during his years in Flushing he was in the pantheon of my favorite Mets. Up there with Keith Hernandez, Mike Piazza, Todd Hundley, and Edgardo Alfonzo. Literally in that group. This current Mets team needs a spark, our outstanding pitching staff are killing themselves out there trying to throw shutouts, since this team doesnt score any runs. Reinforcements would be good. Jose Reyes could help. 

Here is my dilemma though. Jose Reyes is only available because last Halloween while on vacation with his family he was accused  and arrested after a physical fight with his wife. There is a mugshot out there. 

As in many domestic violence cases the spouses are reluctant to cooperate with authorities. It is even more common when it involves professional athletes. Former Baltimore Raven Ray Rice was caught on video assualting his then girlfriend (now wife) in an elevator. She did not cooperate with authorities. I'm not sure if it is fear about retribution, or fear of losing a financial lifestyle or something else, but these guys usually don't face legal consequences. Mrs. Reyes didn't cooperate, and the case was dropped. 

Major League Baseball suspended Reyes for 50 games. And his team the Colorado Rockies released him after they were unable to find a trade partner, who would be willing to take on a player, with diminising skills, a huge ammount of money owed to him and the reputation of someone who has hit his wife. But desperate for offense, and for a prorated ammount of the league minimum salary the Mets appear to be ready to take that chance. 

This will be the second time during my fandom that I have to split the guy on the field from off the field. I will cheer Jose Reyes the player, I will join the thousands of CitiField faithful in boisterous chants of JOSE JOSE JOSE. But I'm not going to wear Jose Reyes t-shirts. I will look at him differently. A lengthy sit down interview with someone from SNY, will not change my opinion on him. There was nothing he can say that will justify what he did. Hopefully he will try to make ammends, raise funds and awareness for domestic violence. But for me, and many others I suspect. That dark cloud of what happened this past October in a Hawaiian resort will always be there. 

Jose Reyes did a terrible thing and he is very fortunate to be a rich and famous professional athlete. 

Addendum: Jose Reyes re-debutted for the Mets in a 5-2 loss against the Miami Marlins. He went 0-4. He was cheered everytime he came up to bat. 

A few coins

The other day, I was driving my son to his little league game. It was an early morning game, my wife and daughter were prepping for a special occasion in the afternoon. As we got off the highway, a young man approached our car. He was begging for money. He had a sad looking paper cup that he was using to collect any change that he might get. I grabbed a handful of change from my center console and rolled down my window. The young man, barley out of his teens I would guess, walked over. I gave him the change. He thanked both of us, I rolled up the window and drove off as the light went green.



My son asked me why I gave him money. I told him that when someone asks you for something, and you are in the position to give it you should. While I don’t have money to buy a new TV or a newer laptop this second, I do have some extra spare change. I’m not sure my son understood what I told him next (he is only 5), it is really hard to beg for money. You put yourself out there to be rejected over and over again. People judge you. They judge your motives. They make assumptions. I don’t care if that young man is going to use those forty something cents I handed him to feed an addiction or to feed himself. That isn’t any of my business.  

Perhaps at one point that young man was as pampered and catered to as my kids are. And something happened that led him to that corner at the end of the Jackie Robinson Expressway. Or maybe his whole life has been a similar struggle, I don’t know. I ended by telling him if I can make a miniscule difference in one persons life that is exactly what we need to do. I hope if my son doesn't get it right now, that the lesson is implanted in the back of his head for use at a later time.

NOTE: This post was not about showing off by doing charitable acts. I'm so awesome. It was supposed to be about teaching my son to be empathetic to other people. 

Don't buy my kids any toy guns

This holiday season, if you plan on getting either of my kids gifts please don't buy them any toy guns. They aren't welcomed in my home anymore. We will keep the Nerf guns, Star Wars blasters and revolutionary war pop guns that we already own, but that is it nothing more. I can't justify my outrage at this nation's flippant attitude towards guns, gun violence and the lack of respect for human life, while at the same time letting my kids play with guns (albeit toy guns).

This evening I saw a post on a fellow dad blogger's Facebook page about a seven year old Michigan girl who was shot dead and whose mother is critically wounded after being showered with a barrage of bullets outside of her soccer practice. The gunman, who took the cowards way out, had purchased the gun legally. No waiting, no registering, no background check, just hand over the cash and here is your gun, some bullets and well see you soon. Luckily, I guess, he only hit his targets, who may I remind you were a 7 year old girl and her mother. But had this guy missed he could have put some lead into more kids, more moms or dads, perhaps a baby or two. Maybe this story hits me hard because I live with a 7-year old girl and her mother. 

In Michigan where this tragedy took place, it is legal for a person to carry a firearm in public as long as the person is carrying the firearm with lawful intent and the firearm is not concealed. No Law to prohibit: There is no law that makes it legal; it is the absence of a law to prohibit open carry that makes it lawful. (You can get a concealed pistol license after taking an 8 hour course, showing a state issued ID and paying a $100 fee.) While on the other hand, to get a drivers license in Michigan, you need to pass a written test. Pay a fee to get a learners permit. Practice for at least 30 days after getting your permit. Take an eye and hearing exam. Show your original social security card and birth certificate. Take a road test. And then you can go back to the office and get your drivers license . If its your first license you go on three years of probation. So you need to jump through hoops to get a drivers license. But if you have $200 you can legally buy a gun, pretty much no questions asked and carry it around.

I am not going to jump on the soapbox and say where were the "good guys with guns" to stop yet another child from being shot dead on the streets of the United States of America. Because clearly that idea even in a state where it is so easy to carry a gun around there weren't people around to stop the gunman. Its a myth that more guns will solve the problem. If there was someone else with a gun around, and if they didn't do what normal people do when they hear shots firing (run the other way). What were they going to do, just start shooting? Turning that parking lot outside of the soccer field into the O-K Corral? 

We are supposed to be the greatest country in the world. But we are not. We are killing each other in the streets. We don't spend anytime mourning victims of gun violence (no time in between incidents I guess). The second the smoke clears we are yelling at each other about gun control, religion, race, the NRA, terrorism, Republicans, Democrats, and various other bogeymen. And not taking a second to think about the state of our nation. More divided than we have ever been.

I just can't glorify guns to my kids. Guns are not toys. They aren't fun. They are tools designed with one purpose killing.  Really soon I am going to have to explain to my small children about gun violence. About what the lock down drill at their school is all about. I am not advocating banning toy guns, I'm just not going to buy them. A brand like Nerf makes a lot of awesome toys that aren't guns, so perhaps they should shift their focus to those products that emphasize being active and healthy. 

If someone hands one of my kids a present and it turns out to be a toy gun, we will thank them for the generous gift and then we will return it to a store and exchange it for a more appropriate toy. Please include a gift receipt.