Hold on

There is a tendency in our society to look to take care of others first. After looking after all those who depend on us, working, and running errands there seems to be no time for yourself. But without giving yourself an hour or so of "you" time every now and then you are just a robot doing task after task after task. Also when you are going through stressful and anxiety filled times in your life, you need to slip away from your reality for even a short time to recharge your battery.

Kind of falling into both of those scenarios I went searching for that time. That's when I found out about floating. And then when I did the research about that I found out about cuddling.Wait, what? Yes, cuddling. It's a thing and it's not as weird as you would imagine. I contacted Cuddlist which is one of the most reputable places to find professional cuddlers. I was intrigued, are people actually doing this? And yes apparently in droves. The founders of the organization have set up a strict screening process for the “cuddlists” which includes training (which is overseen by one of the co-founders) and a strict code of conduct that both parties have to agree to adhere to, which involves dress code, inappropriate touching etc.

The idea is that people are lacking in touch. And that is very important to a person's well being, think about a newborn and how much they need and thrive on being held. It's no different for adults. And since they have been very clear to eliminate anything sexual in the process, people are free to be held or hold someone in a non-threatening platonic way. Kind of like therapy but with fewer words. Though when I tried it there was a lot of talking.


I arrived at the place and I was nervous. I didn’t really know what was going to happen. I was greeted at the door by Ella, who by trade is a public school teacher. She had started cuddling on the side, but after a particularly tough school year, she took a year off and is now cuddling full time. She showed me the way to the bathroom, and I changed into gym clothes, she was wearing a nice pair of pajamas.

We sat on a big comfy sofa and talked for a little while. We went over the code of conduct, she turned on some quiet but invigorating music. It was the score for the movie Amelie. And then she put her head on my chest. After a few minutes I felt at ease, it was much like when you had to acclimate to the sensory deprivation tank.

The session which was an hour was really nice. It's hard to describe it in words. Kind of like falling asleep on a sofa with a cat you like asleep in the crook of your arm if you like cats. It was comfortable and un-judged. Ella who is also a graphic artist has a really easy manner about her. It was a very profound and familiar experience but not anything inappropriate, and that was great because that was what I was hoping to get out of the experience. She told me most of her clients are partnered but are so busy with real life they don't get all the touch they need at home and are not looking for an affair or what not.

Most of the clients at Cuddlist are male, Ella thinks that women, moms, in particular, could benefit from cuddling since they do so much for others and not themselves. Cuddlist employees over 100 trained cuddlists (both female and male). Since Cuddlist launched in January of 2016, they have spread throughout the country, but mostly concentrated in more how do you say progressive areas. If you are curious it is worth the small investment in yourself.

Note: Cuddlist was nice enough to provide me with a free session to use as research for this post, but all opinions are my own.

SPECIAL DEAL FOR MY NYC AREA READERS (or anyone willing to travel to NYC) - Go to Ella’s page and mention Great Moments in Bad Parenting in the notes section and you will receive $10 off of an hour session.

Floating in the dark

There was a moment that the water beneath me and the darkness above me became one thing. And then all of a sudden I was that same thing too. 

I know that sounds weird. But it is the truth. I probably should back up a bit. A few weeks ago, my cousin, Paulie posted something on Facebook about floating in a sensory deprivation tank. Out on Long Island. And I was intrigued. So I looked up  The Float Place and made a reservation to float in one of the pools. The Float Place has three rooms, two with float pools and one with a floating tank. I opted for the pool because it was slightly larger.

When I arrived at the facility, I was given a tour and orientation by one of the staff members. The place and the guy were both very chill. He brought me into the room where I would be doing my float and walked me through the entire process. Then showed me where people go after the float, to the tea room to have some tea or water just to get yourself back to normal after the float and before you jump in your car.

So after the tour, I got myself ready. I switched off my phone, which was relaxing in itself. 90 minutes or so of total radio silence. I took a quick rinsing shower and stepped into what sort of looked like an industrial freezer, but filled with Epsom salt infused warm water. I sat in the water and closed door. Like my guide had mentioned the salt level of the water would make the floating just happen and my feet were trying to rise up from the floor of the pool, It was about a foot deep. The two float rooms are filled with 300 gallons of water with 1400 pounds of Epsom Salt dissolved in it. I laid down and my body rose up from the water I was half submerged. I turned off the light from the inside. It was super dark, and then a few minutes later the lights from the staging area went out as well and I was in total blackness. There was no sound, it was like space.

The Float Place which has been in business since 2015, boasts two of the largest float rooms on the East coast.

While you are submerged everything that you are stressing about floats away. Anxieties drift off into the ether. I'm not sure if I was drifting in the ether as well. That was unclear. During your time you become both aware and unaware of your body at the same time. It was like you were just your mind. I tried to sleep, but I just couldn't. I was relaxed but just not tired enough to sleep. Perhaps I realized that I was in the water and my natural survival instincts didn't allow me to sleep. Though a lot of people according to the staff are able to sleep while floating and they say that an hour asleep in the tank is the equivalent to three hours of REM sleep.   Then from seemingly underneath you some soothing music comes on, that is you signal that your time is up. But they were very cool about saying take your time, and that the music wasn't an alarm clock. It took me a few minutes to find the light, and I stretched a little, some of my muscles were a little cramped from lying still for 90 minutes. I got out and cleaned off the salt from my body.

I unwound in the tea room and headed home. I had a smile on my face and was ready to take on whatever was ahead of me with a clear mind. And like the guy who worked there said I slept great that night.

The Float Place has two locations on Long Island, one in Deer Park and another in Patchogue. Taking a float or two is well worth the money, for the peace of mind you get and for the escape from everything.

Disclaimer: The Float Place provided me with a complimentary float to be used for writing this post. But as always all opinions are mine. -NV

Slip n Slide n Urgent Care

When you head out for a family adventure, you rarely imagine that the day ends up sitting in a very warm exam room at an Urgent Care center. And it is even more out of the realm of your thoughts that the patient would be your nine-year-old daughter.

We spent part of the day on a recent Sunday at Three Bear Acres in Creedmore North Carolina. The converted farm is wonderland for kids and active fun. Ninja Warrior style obstacle courses, a giant bouncy pillow, an awesome tree house and much much more. It was a hot day, so we spent very little time near the giant bounce pillow and retreated into the woods where there is this great slide. The slide which resembles a super-sized pine-wood derby track, runs down the length of a hill. The riders drag snow sleds retrofitted with skateboard trucks and wheels. Doesn't look super safe, but looked super fun. I saw how fast 60 and 80 under children were flying down the course, and decided that the wall of tires probably would not have stopped my momentum.

My daughter who is prone to overheating, wanted to check out the slip-n-slide. It was hot out and i figured her clothes would dry. So let's go for it I said. We walked over to the waterfront and along the side of hill of clay was the slip-n-slide. They had dug out two tracks and laid out the mats. There were hoses and sprinklers going down the length of the track. My daughter then son, took turns sliding down the bumpy track. There was laughter and squeals of joy. And then I hear a scream. “DADDY!” I see my daughter crumpled on the ground half way down. I run towards her, fearing the worst. Trying not to slip as I ran down the damp grassy hill. When i get to her she says her ankle is hurt. I ask if she can stand. She doesn't know. I helped her up. She was able to put a little weight on it. And knowing her pain tolerance, her ankle was probably not broken (but I'm no doctor). I picked her up and walked here over to a bench. She was pretty hysterical. Her brother kept sliding. 

We looked at her ankle and it seemed a little swollen. The staff at TBA brought us over some ice, and when they saw I was going to carry her back to the parking lot, they offered us a ride in one of the Polaris off-roaders, which was awesome. We headed back and my son stayed with his grandmother and my wife and I took Nugget to a local urgent care. They were so super nice they put her into a wheelchair and we watched Disney Channel as we waited to be called in. 

We wheeled her in. And the staff was so nice to us. The nurse, took all her vitals and we waited for a doctor to examine her. Now we waited and waited. We had to explain to her that at Urgent Care center’s the staff has to prioritize the patients by the seriousness of the illness and injuries. Eventually the nurse practitioner stopped by, she examined Nuggets foot and ankle. We would need to get some x-rays. They brought us some beverages, since we had been waiting so long in seemingly the only non-air conditioned room in the facility.

The x-rays didn't show a break, which is a good thing. But there was a sprain and bone bruise. They wrapped Nugget’s foot with some ace bandages and fitted her for crutches. She will be off her feet for a few weeks, so Fall tennis is probably out of the equation this year. But she will be ready to walk around comfortably by pumpkin picking season.


As bad as it was, she remained a trooper and we stayed calm for her. It could have been much worse. And luckily it was not. When we got back, her little brother was the perfect little guy. He moved her crutches when she sat down to eat, and brought them back to her when she needed to get up. We raised some good kids.

One something over too much

A few weeks ago we were at a playdate with another family and the dad who was lively and boisterous as usual one minute was all of a sudden slurry and sedate. My wife and I recognized the symptoms of a stroke as did his wife (a nurse) she rushed him off to the hospital we stayed with the kids. A few hours later they returned, he needed to do more testing and I'm sure work on diet and exercise (I didn't ask for details). But it got me thinking about my own health and an upcoming doctors appointment I had.

My doctor is not someone to sugar coat things, though he is not an over-reactor, which is nice. Despite being on blood pressure medicines and completely cutting out soda, my BP was still high. He gave me yet another blood pressure medicine and wanted me to see a cardiologist.

My heart looked good according to the cardiologist, but my BP was still high. So he upped my dosage on one of my medications. And said if it doesn't go down I would need to take at least one other medication. I am too young to be taking so much stuff every day. So I went online to see what else I could do.

I found this great article on the Mayo Clinic's website about controlling blood pressure. It lists 10 things you can do to cut your Blood Pressure.

• Lose extra pounds and watch your waistline
• Exercise regularly
• Eat a healthy diet

I think the first three all go hand in hand. It is about lifestyle changes. My wife loves cooking healthy vegetarian meals, which is a positive. But perhaps I need to skip dessert or late night snack. I will admit right now I would love a Klondike Bar. Now that the kids are back in school I have been going to the gym, regularly. But perhaps my workouts need to be longer and more intense. I am setting a goal of a 40 minute 5k when I participate in  NAHDN's Run Dad Run! this Spring. 

• Reduce sodium in your diet

I love salt. And while I haven't been cutting out salt in my cooking, I have avoided adding extra salt to my food. I have also been over a month without soda. Which is full of salt. This is going to be a tough one, because I hate bland food.

• Limit the amount of alcohol you drink

I'm not that big of a drinker. I usually can go months between drinks. But then will go on stretches where I'm drinking every night. Its never too excess, so I think I'm drinking to the point of beneficial benefits.

• Quit smoking

I don't smoke.

• Cut back on caffeine

Since I've given up soda, I have really intensified my coffee drinking. Honestly I haven't drank this much coffee since I had a access to a Kureg at my old office.

• Reduce your stress

I have a seven and five year old. A very demanding elderly parent living right upstairs. A job that needs requires great attention to detail. And the Mets are in the playoffs. My whole life is stress. Ok I'll see what I can do.

• Monitor your blood pressure at home and see your doctor regularly

I have been keeping up with my meds and my doctors appointments. He really acts like a partner in my wellness.

• Get support

I am writing this post and sending it out on the interwebs to let people know that I am working on this. And to feel free to call me out on things. And remember that I am working these habits in slowly. When you see me sipping an iced coffee, its a medium not a large. That is a start. If you see me drinking Mountain Dew at camp, shut up you are stressing me out—that is my time to drink Dew.