I'm Tired of Wiping Butts That Aren't My Own...

There is nothing worse than feeling that you have failed your kids. And as I am wiping the butt of a five year old, I know that I have failed him.

My daughter was totally trained at 3 years old in three weeks. She had one accident afterwards. But I still can't leave the house without some extra pants, a few pairs of pull-up and wipes. While he is able to keep it at bay during the school day, once he is home its hit or miss. There are days where he is wearing the same underwear he was when he left for school at bed time. And its high fives and hugs all around. But there are days, when you walk by him and you catch that smell. It's disgusting to have to wipe poop off a kid, who is so smart, funny and charming and is so adept at playing video games and driving a go-cart. 

Perhaps, its my giving up some days and just letting him use the pull-ups, instead of knowing that he will mess up pants and underwear that I will need to wash. 

There was a great article on Modern Mom that discusses my exact problem with my son. Looking at the writer's list of suggestions I realize I might be slowing down the process. 

Stop talking about it. Pretend it doesn’t bother you whether or not he uses the toilet. When he stops getting negative attention for failing to perform, he may start using the toilet for some positive attention.

Here is the problem, it does bother me. And I know it bothers him, he would never want to be changed in front of his friends or cousins. And when he needs a change I try to be very discreet, because even a 5-year old has pride.

I've tried to bribe him, saying if he would stop pooping in his pants or in pullups that the money we would save from buying those pullups could be used for toys or whatever he chooses. But that doesn't seem to work.

Most children who are resistant to toilet training are enmeshed in a power struggle with their parents. The cause of the power struggle is usually reminder resistance-an oppositional response to excessive reminders to sit on the toilet. In addition, most resistant children have been held on the toilet against their will. The child's contribution to the power struggle is usually a difficult, strong-willed temperament.

Armenians have a word "ENAD" which is a word for extreme stubbornness, even when its against your own best interest.  And we are very lucky to have a strong willed son, but I think he has it in his head that he is winning this battle with us, by pooping and making us clean it up.

From the reading I have done for this post I will take some of these tips and hopefully they will work. And I will be able to leave the house without any extra stuff. Living the dream.


Thanks to Scotty Schrier for the inspiration to writing this post.