A great dad.

That dad is awesome. I know I have been looking for a plush Doc McStuffins so Nugget and Thor don't fight over the one Doc we have. Why do people have to overly sexualize things for kids. Yes Sofia the First is aimed primarily at girls, but Sofia is just a sweet little girl who tries to do the right thing and fit in. Yup those are only qualities that girls should aspire to. 

Let kids be kids, a little boy who likes dolls or kitchens isn't pre-destined to be gay. Or a little girl who like s trucks isn't automatically a lesbian. Even if they are, who cares. Damn people are stupid. 

Searching for Niel ... part 1

We have been visiting my father in law’s grave fairly regularly since his passing this past summer. They are short visits, and soon no doubt we will have to explain to the kids that this isn’t just a garden were we remember Babik. But recently I have been thinking of my father. It is not that I have any desire to go out to his grave. Twice in the last twenty something years is more than enough, we used to go very regularly when we were kids.

Other than hurt and resentment there is very little emotional bond. I just don’t know the man. I see pictures. My older cousins sometimes reminisce about their cool uncle Niel.  I don’t know how he walked. What he sounded like. What he smelt like. When he passed my brother and I were about the ages of my kids, and I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with that.

I have very few memories of him. One was him coming home from a business trip with a brown plush dog for me. Another was this amazing potato Au Gratin he made and we ate in the dining room at our old apartment. And lastly we had this small brownish box, it was fake wood grained and had round corners inside it had his military medals. I know there was a purple heart and two or three other medals. He earned those fighting in Italy during WWII.  I don’t know what ever happened to them, we moved twice since we lived in that apartment on Jefferson Avenue. Who knows?

Since the last of his siblings passed unexpectedly last year, there is no one I know who is still around who knew him when he earned those medals. I am going to see if with the power of the internet and some skills I picked up in journalism school, if I can find out a little bit more about that time in his life.

It won’t bring back those years without him.   But perhaps one day when Olivia or Niel ask me about him, I’ll have an interesting story to tell them.

Sorry

I have sort of neglected this blog. It has been the perfect storm of computer/Internet issues, writers block, a little depression and Nugget's Easter vacation. I wrote a new post last night and will post it a little later.

The Worm

Dennis Rodman On Fatherhood: Former NBA Star Says, 'I Don't Know How To Be A Father' 

I am not one to pass judgement on others, but when I read this article about Dennis Rodman I had to say something. As an aside, am I the only one who is noticing that Rodman is seemingly popping up everywhere. He must be getting commision for being on Celeberty Apprentice. 

So the NBA hall-of-famer blames not knowing his father on not being close to his own four children. Rodman's father apparently has many children throughout the world and is a deadbeat for all if not most of them. The younger Rodman has made many millions over his career so I am guessing he has suported his kids, but he claims he doesnt know how to hug them, or things like that. Is it that he didnt have a father at home or is it that he is immature selfish and a fame whore.

My dad passed away when I was five years old. I have no issues being a father. Perhaps because I wasn't catered to since I was an eight grader who could re-bound like few others ever could. So when I have to put the needs of someone else's (my kids) before my own it is something I am very capable of it.

Years ago a co-worker was complaining that someone in his town accused him of over parenting, and this was 13 years ago, he said "I grew up without a dad, I want to make sure my kids know there dad is there  for them every day." I never met Bob's kids, and I only knew him a short period of time, but his kids were (are) loved by that man.  So for a man who didn't have a dad in his life he some how figured it out. Lots of people who were raised by mothers. aunts, grandmothers or whoever become good dads, it stems from being a good man. When you blame an absentee father for your own shortcomings as a father you are just making excuses Mr. Rodman.

Random thoughts

I haven't thought a lot about Disney in these past year or so, but it seems like a lot of episodes of Little Einsteins and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that I made books based on, are airing. Just makes me think about good times, and not so much the bad times.

I filled out a NCAA bracket, I think I have Miami winning it all. I know nothing about college basketball.

Brian Williams on Alex Baldwin's podcast said some interesting things about people's self obsession and the diminishing relevance of the news. Such as why do we care about random people's take on world events and the minutiae of their lives. Hrrrumph! What do I know, I'm writing this blog and will be sending it out to my followers on Twitter.

There is this commercial on Disney Jr about princesses and it has little girls running around. Being girly and tough and a whole gamut of emotions. I cry like a baby every time.

In Westerlos "winter is coming".  In New York. "winter is staying".

Stuttering - Fearing the worst with my child's speech

I am a stutterer. My wife used to be a stutterer. When we noticed our two year old began to stutter really badly, we began to worry. With our own histories and with our daughters bout of speech delay we did what any parent would do, look up stuttering in toddlers on the Internet and then call a speech therapist to have him evaluated.   READ THE REST AT THE NYC DADS GROUP BLOG

March Dadness -First round (southeast region)

This is the southeast region of the tournament. Just realized the funny connection in the first matchup.

Matchup #1
Tony Micelli (Who's the Boss) - A widowed father of a young tom boy daughter who took a job as a live in housekeeper for a divorced woman and her young son in Connecticut. As Tony grew accustomed to his new setting he became a father figure (and eventual step father) to her son Jonathan. He had to accept his daughter Samantha going from a tough street wise girl into a beautiful sophisticated young lady. He was a strong caring father and not only gave his daughter a better life, he bettered himself.

Tony Soprano (the Sopranos) - Yes Tony is a criminal, a drug addict, a cheater but he was a pretty good dad. His two kids Meadow and AJ were really no worse than their contemporaries whose dads are doctors and lawyers as opposed to mob bosses. He tried very hard to keep his children out of the family business. Despite giving an aura of being old school he was very modern in his parenting style.


Matchup #2
Mike Brady (The Brady Bunch) - Yet another widower. Architect Mike Brady was the son of three young boys when he met a divorcee named Carol who had three girls of her own. They got married and as the song said that this group became a family that's the way they became the Brady bunch. With the wide range of ages Mike got to give fatherly advice to kids a few years out of diapers up to college aged ones. He would sit with them and guide them in the way to figure out the right thing to do by themselves. To Mike Brady there was never a distinction between the boys and girls in his family. It was the first and most cohesive blended family ever on TV.

Ned Stark (A Game of Thrones) - In a world full of bad and dishonorable people. He was the only good man. The Lord of Winterfell and Hand of the King was a man of honor and loved all of his children Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, Riccard and even Jon (his bastard) equally. He had these touching scenes with Jon before he went to the wall and with Arya as she struggled to find her place at King's Landing. But his influence on his two eldest sons is really deep. Robb went to war to right a wrong done to his family. And Jon protected the younger boys, in particular Sam, on the Wall because his father taught him that the powerful should never abuse the weak. Every other father shown on the show is a whore monger or a cruel unfeeling man. Unlike Ned Stark who didn't cheat on his beloved Cat, well he did that once. And he was warm and sensitive, being there for Sansa as she watched the cruel reality of the joust. Yes, Lord Stark should have been in the North region.

March Dadness -First Round (north region)

We will start in the north region of the tournament. Please vote for a dad in each match up.

Match up #1
Michael Bleuth (Arrested Development) - Michael is a widowed father to a teenage son George Michael and is a father figure to his extended family of brothers, sister and parents. He is both the prodigal son and prodigal father, as he returns to the Bleuth family as their insanity has brought them to the edge of ruin.

Chris Brinkley (Up All Night) -Chris is a former stay at home dad to an adorable toddler named Amy. The early part of the series showed him as the "stereotypical" dad who can't do anything right but as the show and character got into a grove he came into his own as a dad. In the second season he started a business and after an episode about missing being the baby's primary care giver his interactions with Amy are now very minimal.

Match Up #2
Uncle Phil (The Fresh Prince of Bel Air) - While Phillip Banks was a father on the show of a grown daughter, a teenage son and a preteen aged daughter, his true fatherhood interactions are with his nephew Will. The young ward was sent to live with his aunt and uncle after getting into some fights in his rough Philadelphia neighborhood. Obviously the comic devise of stuck up father (figure) versus free spirited son was a main part if the show, but Uncle Phil treated Will as his own son. He saw that Will had a much more similar upbringing to his own, than his own kids did. So there was a kinship between the two men. Uncle Phil was Will's dad as much as he was the father to Carlton or the others.

Steven Keaton (Family Ties) - Steven was the father of a teenaged boy (Alex) and girl (Malory), a preteen (Jennifer) and later in the series a preschooler (Andy). He was a ex-hippy turned ultra liberal manager of a local PBS station. He worked out of the home but he was a warm loving dad who was interested in the lives of his children. He and his wife Elise instilled a good sense of values into the children, they always ate meals together and the children's rebellions were never that drastic but Steven and Elise were always ready to forgive and accept their life choices. The main dad issue that came up was the reverse of Uncle Phil and Will, as Stevens eldest son was a buttoned up conservative while Steven was someone who had spent many years living in hippy communes. The two men disagreed on most things except about loving ones family.